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  “Her name is Heather and you know that.”

  “I would rather her be, she who must not be named, as far as I'm concerned.”

  “Are you seriously comparing her to an evil wizard?”

  “Well what else would you call it? She destroyed my little boy, and I don't think I will ever forgive her for that.”

  “I go out, I date, I'm rich. Do you call that destroyed?”

  “You do all of that and you get nothing out of it, do you? She left you empty with a little void, that only she can fill, And I will always hate her for it.”

  “Well, tell me how you really feel...”

  I tried to lighten it up in there, but she was serious and the whole vibe in the room had changed.

  “It's just a little trip mom, no big deal. I am not even going because of her. Maybe I just need a break too. I haven't taken the day off in quite a while. It's time for me to have one.”

  “Just be careful, Casper. Heather is the only one that can hurt you.”

  Yeah, but she was the only one that made me feel as well.

  4

  Heather

  Ellie decided to drop the bombshell on my lap as I was packing for the trip. We got the tickets, were about to leave in a couple of hours, and she decided that now was the right time to tell me that Casper was coming with.

  “Why in the hell would you invite him?”

  “Well, he brought up a good point. Vegas is kind of dangerous and we are four hot chicks. Maybe we need a guy with us, just to beat down the rest of the suitors.”

  She was making light of it, but I didn't know why. Casper has been one that I'd fallen for years ago, like the one that I was forbidden from being with. Once my mother had gotten her way about how I felt about the next-door neighbor, she had made herself known. He was no good, and I couldn't be around him.

  Eventually I had listened to her, and it wasn't because I believed her, but I was just sick of hearing it. She had a way of beating people down. Maybe it was a weakness on my part, but I had just gotten tired of hearing it, so I stopped talking to him. It had hurt, but it was something that I had to do.

  “I can't believe you did this, Ellie. You're not talking to anyone else. You're talking to me, and you know that this is bullshit. You know what happened between us.”

  She looked guilty for a moment, but it didn't last very long.

  “Would it be so bad if the two of you spent some time together? He always made you happy. Maybe I just want to see my friend happy? Would that be so bad?”

  For some reason that was even worse.

  “What did you do, try to matchmake us back together? You know that it won’t work.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not like that. I think he wants to go, so that means he wants to see you. He was the one that brought it up, and you should have seen the way he said it. I just think... I don't know. You know how I felt about the two of you together. I always thought it was perfect. That hasn't changed, Heather.”

  At the moment, I wanted to slap her. I don't think she meant any harm by this, but she had no idea what she was doing. She had no idea how I felt about him. I have felt like he was ‘the one’ for quite some time. It had hurt more than I would ever admit to when I was told that I couldn't see him anymore. I don't know if I was going to be able to face him for a full week, and I certainly didn't know if I wanted to.

  The other two got there not long after we started the conversation, and I tabled it for the time being. It wasn’t like it was that big of a secret, that I had a huge crush on Casper for most of high school, but they didn't know the extent of it. They didn't know that I had actually thought about running away with him our senior year, but there was a lot that Midge and Dotty didn't know. I wanted to keep it that way.

  Ellie was on my hit-list now. She was trying to set me up with an ex. She had hated him like she was supposed to, when we had broken up. But in secret, Ellie had asked me why I hadn’t gone against my mom. She just hadn’t understood. I asked her not to bring it up again, and she hadn’t. But now, she thought herself a little matchmaker, and I was her newest experiment.

  “It's going to be okay, Heather. I promise. I have a good feeling about this trip.”

  I didn’t agree with Midge, but I just kind of went with it. Of course, this trip was going to be anything but what I thought it would be. I should have known better. As soon as she mentioned Vegas, I should have known that I was in over my head.

  We rode over to pick up Casper. We had all gone to Ellie’s house to get ready, and now we were back at his mom's house. He wanted us to pick him up over there, so nobody said anything. I still had no idea where he lived, and it was just kind of strange that we had to pick him up there. I wanted to ask questions, but then again, I didn't want to show the interest that I had. I wasn't supposed to care.

  He was standing out front when we got there, and I realized that it had been a while since I was this close to him. I avoided him like the plague, never going into the bike shop, knowing that he might be there getting parts. His blonde hair was short and spiky, his blue eyes were piercing. They seemed to find mine across the distance almost immediately, and I had to look away. The smile on his lips reminded me of the many times we kissed, or where he had kissed me elsewhere.

  That made me shiver, and I knew that I had to pull myself together. This was going to be a long trip, if I was already losing control. I caught Ellie looking at me a little too much. She had that grin on her face again, and I pushed her away.

  “Don't get any ideas. You have already done enough.”

  Ellie looked like she was pouting for a moment, but we both knew that it was a lie. She thought she had done well and nothing I said was going to change that. Ellie had been the one that told me that I should run off with him. You only live once, she had told me.

  “I haven't done anything. Hey, I just insured our safety, that's all.”

  I didn't know if that was true or not, but I didn't feel safe at the moment. The one person I was afraid of was coming towards the car and of course, I was the one that had to scoot over, so that he could get in. I felt like Ellie had done that on purpose as well.

  “Welcome. Thank you for coming with us, Casper. I know that we would have most likely been taken advantage of, if we didn’t have a big strong man there with us.”

  Casper told me that it was no big deal. He didn't even look at me for a few minutes, but I kind of wish that he didn’t at all. Nothing had changed. I wished that something had changed, so that I could focus on it and pull myself from the immediate emotions that I had for him. It would have been easier that way. The guy was still just as hot and sexy as ever.

  “It's good to see you again, Heather.”

  He took up most of the back seat because he was so big. His shoulders were touching mine and our thighs were pressed together. Why did we have to get such a small rental? It wasn't that far to the airport, but I was already dreading the ride. It was just too much all of a sudden, and I could even smell the familiar woody cologne that he used to wear. The scent brought back way too many memories.

  “Uh-huh.”

  That made him chuckle and that made me worry that he knew the response my body had to him. As easy as it was to leave, it didn't mean that I liked the idea of it very much. I didn't want him to have such power over me. Not when it never turned out well.

  Midge and Ellie were talking about something, but I couldn’t keep up with it and I stopped trying. All I could concentrate on was the places that our bodies touched, as well as the heartbeat that I could feel in my chest. I didn't think that it was going to pop out or anything, but it was certainly going a little faster than usual. My senses became stronger, and there really was nothing I could do about it. Casper always had this effect on me. That's why I had almost given up everything for him.

  The silence was deafening and even though there was noise all around me, it wasn’t enough to pierce the quiet that had taken over. It was like I was outside of my own body,
and I knew that I had to pull myself together. There was supposed to be a whole week of this. Five minutes in, and I was already close to where we left off. That couldn't be good.

  5

  Casper

  I gave the other three women their tickets and then I handed Heather hers. I made sure that we were next to each other, because whether she could ignore me on a ten-minute trip to the airport was one thing, she would not be able to do the same on a several hours-long journey. I knew Heather too well, and I knew that she didn't have it in her.

  When we took our seats and she pulled out a book, I knew that I might have a little bit of resistance, but I liked the challenge. Heather had always been the ultimate challenge for me. She already had taken up a lot of my mental capacity just thinking about her, but that didn't mean that I didn't want to give her some more. I had lost her in the end and this week, was my time to rectify that.

  “What are you reading?”

  “The only book that I could find, and it was Ellie’s. Some romance, I think.”

  “So, you're reading a romance?”

  She waved me off. “It's not like that. It’s a romantic comedy.”

  I looked at the cover. It had two people in an embrace. The woman was barely clothed, and I put my brow up a little bit. “It doesn't look like they're laughing too much.”

  She looked at the cover, and I think it was the first time that she had actually seen it. Heather's face got that pretty pink that I always liked and brought back a lot of memories. I had always wanted to get her all worked up. It was a lot easier to do this time around it seemed like. Even though that was hard to believe, I enjoyed it even more now.

  “Well, you know how marketing is. I'm sure that it is just the best way to sell a book. Ellie bought it.”

  She was getting defensive, and it was adorable.

  “I bet so.”

  “Where are they anyways?”

  “They got three seats together, ten rows back.”

  “Wow, I can't even see them. Why didn't they give us all the seats together?”

  That had been an option, but I had made sure that they were a far enough distance away from us, so that we can have a little bit of quiet time together. None of the other people really mattered, as far as I was concerned. I wanted to just take the leap, but I wasn't ready to reveal the truth yet. That would come later.

  “I don't know. Maybe it was not possible. This plane looks pretty full.”

  “Yeah, I never did like flying.”

  I could see that she was scared, and I took her hand in mine. It was such a small gesture, but I found the immediate shock of electricity that flowed through us. I don't know why I have worried about it being any different. I should have known better. I had always thought the neighbor was the one for me, and every time we were alone together, it just proved that to be the case.

  “Well, I'm right here with you, Heather. All you have to do is squeeze my hand if you get scared.”

  “Oh, that's right, you are our protector. When one of us helpless women finds ourselves in trouble, huh?”

  “You like that, huh?”

  “I don't know, Casper. I think you have some plan, but I am warning you now, don't do it. That time when there was a me and you is gone now.”

  She pulled her hand away. It wasn't hard and fast or anything, but the absence was felt just as strongly. For a moment there, I had imagined that this would be easy. Maybe I was wrong to assume that.

  I cooled off on the plane because I didn't want her to suspect me just yet. I wanted things to go back to the way they were. She had that much right, but Heather had no idea what I was willing to do to make that happen. I wasn't going to give her up again. I just couldn't. I figured that it was probably a bad idea. I mean, there was a lot of standing in our way, but I couldn't help it. Heather had been who I wanted for a very long time, and it did not matter who was in my bed. I always wished it was Heather.

  When we got off the plane, I had a car waiting for us and the women were rather impressed.

  “I hope you didn't waste a bunch of money trying to impress us.”

  I waved Heather off. It was a drop in the bucket, but she didn't know that. Nobody really knew that. I wanted to keep it that way.

  “No, it's just one of the perks of the business.”

  “What business is that?”

  “There's a lot you don't know about me, Heather.”

  “Like what? Did you get more tattoos? Another bike?”

  I knew that she was being feisty because she did not want to admit what she felt for me. Even knowing that though, I didn't like her comments.

  “You’ve been gone a while Heather, and we haven’t really talked in even longer. There is a lot you don't know about me now.”

  “Probably. I haven't seen you around your mom’s that much anymore. Are you still living there?”

  I told her that I wasn’t, but I didn't offer any more information. I don't know why I was holding it all back, but something told me that I needed to. I wasn't ready for things to change, but a part of me wanted to tell at least Heather. At the end of the day, it had all been for her. I had set out to make myself good enough for her in her eyes, as well as her mother’s. I'm pretty sure I was there, but something was holding me back.

  I gave the driver the address, and they asked me where we were going.

  “I got us a couple of rooms at one of the nice casinos. It's up on the top, so there will be a great view.”

  “You didn't have to do all that.”

  I told Ellie that it was no big deal. “It's just a good hotel, in a good part of town. I didn't want you guys finding yourselves in a bad area. Vegas can be rough.”

  Heather rolled her eyes and once again, I could tell I wasn't getting the reaction I was looking for. What was I going to have to do to impress her?

  The car pulled up to the hotel, and the girls were excited. Midge and Dotty had not stopped talking since we got in the car. I always knew that Midge had a crush on me. It was rather clear at the moment, but I was ignoring her.

  She was pretty, redheaded and she had a nice body, but I really wasn't even looking her way. The only one that I had seriously looked at in a very long time was Heather, and that had not turned out well.

  Sure, there had been girls to make up the difference, but they were never enough. My mind always went back to the one that I couldn't have, and Heather was the one that kept me up at night. She was the one that got away.

  The girls waited while I checked us in, and Heather was a bit too interested in how everything was getting paid for. I told her not to worry about it, but she was being adamant that it wasn’t fair.

  “I don't understand why you're paying for everything. You don't have to, you know. I just got a new job, and I don't want you wasting your money when we are more than capable of paying for ourselves.”

  “Why do I get the feeling that I have somehow offended you?”

  “Not really. I am just wondering why you insist on wasting all your money.”

  “I got some really good deals because my mom is a travel agent. I figured that you would know that, so it is certainly not ‘all of my money.’ Thanks for caring Heather, but I think I can handle it.”

  It wasn't true, but it worked because she went with it.

  “Well, thank you. You have gone above and beyond for us. I don't know why, but I thank you, Casper.”

  We went up to the rooms. The women had two rooms, and I had one that was next to them. I had high hopes that I would be able to talk Heather into staying with me, but I was just going to have to see what happened. I had all kinds of hopes, but the only thing I could do was wait and see what happened. I was already closer to what I wanted than I had been in a very long time.

  Ellie popping over and getting those tickets was just the icebreaker I had needed to finally show Heather how I had changed.

  6

  Heather

  Ellie and I stayed in one room, while Midge and Dottie stayed i
n the other. We were all friends, but Ellie and I were always closer. I got along with Midge and Dottie well enough and I had known them for years, but Ellie was always going to be my best friend.

  Once we went in our own rooms to get ready for the night, Ellie started asking a bunch of questions and I really wish she wouldn't. It was already complicated enough, without her getting in the middle of it. She wanted to get all of these answers for questions I had as well.

  “So, I saw that you and Casper were talking. What were you guys talking about?”

  “We were just catching up a little bit. I haven't seen him around that much. Not since...”

  “Not since you broke his heart and dumped him?”

  “It wasn't like that, and you know it.”

  “Kind of was, Heather. Everybody knew that he was really into you. Then your mom tells you to break up with him, and you did so pretty quickly.”

  I had never heard her say it like that, and I wondered if that's how it seemed. I mean that's what it was. My mother had convinced me that I was making a mistake with him, and I have let her get in my head. I regretted it now. I didn't know how to stand up to her. I was finally getting my voice, but it had taken some time to do so. I had been too late.

  “Well, it wasn't the way it was.”

  “You forget sometimes Heather, that I'm your best friend, and you can’t bullshit me, like you do others.”

  “Well then, you know that I didn't want to. It was just something I had to do.”

  “And now?”

  “And now, he will probably never forgive me I guess. I mean, like you said, I broke his heart.”

  “What would happen if he did forgive you?”

  “What are you asking me?”

  “I'm asking you, if you would go down that road again?”

  It wasn't like I hadn't thought about it. I had thought about it quite a bit actually, but I was never able to come up with a real answer. I knew that Casper and I had our chance. If we had another one or not, wasn’t something I was very sure of.

 

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